“Getting Along” Without Enough Sleep? Maybe Not
By Cheryl Harbour

Most people have been crabby a time or two after not getting enough sleep. And it’s uncanny how everyone else we encounter is obnoxious when we’re tired. But now science has identified specific ways in which lack of sleep puts a strain on relationships.

A study conducted by a team at the University of California, San Francisco, identified requirements for positive interactions and determined how well-rested people measure up in these areas compared to people who are sleep deprived.

After too little sleep, people tended to have a more difficult time reading emotional expressions in other people. They missed cues about anger or happiness they’d otherwise get. They also were more likely to engage in stereotypical and biased thinking.

According to an article in Psychology Today reporting on this study, even if only one partner has slept poorly, there tends to be more conflict in the relationship the next day -- "as if sleep deprivation is contagious." As we all know, having conflict during the day can lead to sleeping poorly that night, so it becomes a vicious cycle. So if you're losing sleep over your relationships, maybe try breaking the cycle and do everything you can to get more sleep – at least 7 or 8 hours a night, according to experts.

What's more, our ability to regulate our own emotions may be decreased by getting too little sleep. Reacting to difficult situations in a way that doesn't harm relationships requires processing our emotions - evaluating how we feel and what we want to do about it. And if we're just too tired, we don't have the same capacity we do when we're well rested.

The National Sleep Foundation (NSF) recommends appropriate sleep durations for all age groups. For example, adults aged 26-64 should get 7-9 hours of sleep per night, while adults 65 and older should get 7-8 hours of sleep per night. Adults aged 26-64 should never sleep less than 6 hours, or more than 10 hours, as this can have a negative impact, not just on relationships, but overall health. And adults aged 65 and over should never sleep less than 5 hours or more than 9 hours. Again, these recommendations are based on a comprehensive review of published scientific studies on sleep and health by the NSF.

Interestingly, the most recent "Sleep in America poll" shows that 17% of baby boomers sleep more than 9 hours on weekends and 10% of baby boomers sleep less than 6 hours on weekends. Boomers reported an average weekday wake up time of 5:57AM and an average weekday bed time of 10:58PM. 38% of all boomers studied said they "rarely or never get a good night's sleep on weekdays". 

For more on the topic and some recommendations for improving your sleep habits see our babyboomers.com article.

 




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