Babyboomers.com

Real Cases Real Solutions

Dr. Eva Mor author of “Making the Golden Years Golden”

Just like millions of other baby boomers, my friend Judy lives quite a distance from her parents. She has lived far away from them since she completed graduate school and started her professional career. During regular visits to her parents, things seemed well, and as they aged, they seemed able to handle their affairs without needing Judy’s help.

In recent years, however, she noticed changes: in the beginning the signs were mild and not alarming, but eventually she could not dismiss the symptoms of trouble ahead. Judy’s parents called her repeating the same anecdotes, and there were car accidents — nothing major, just scrapes and dents, and always someone else’s fault.

Judy flew out to her parents’ home after receiving an urgent call from her father’s doctor that her father fell and broke his leg. It was clear to my friend that her parents needed help and, like it or not, she needed to step in. Although Judy’s father was released back home, her mother was unable physically nor mentally to attend to his needs.

What you need to do if you find yourself in a similar situation?  

If you need to oversee your parents care from a distance, as Judy needed to do, you have to set up a plan — a situation which I cover extensively in my book Making the Golden Years Golden. It is wise to set up this plan early, before a crisis occurs.

 Start with evaluating the apartment or house for safety hazards. Install safety bars in the bathroom, remove all area rugs to prevent tripping, check all chairs for steadiness, remove all lose electric cords. All items used daily such as plates, glasses, cups, etc. should be placed low and easy to reach. Establish support system around them. Find someone that lives near your parents and is willing to step in to help or alert you when an emergency occurs. This may be a relative, no matter how distant, a friend or a friend of a friend — anyone that is willing to be the extra pair of eyes. You may want to notify the local police office that an elderly person is living there on his or her own, and if they could look in and check on them during snow storms or heat waves. The local utilities company may have a program for elder protection. You may want to check out local home care agencies that may step in if help is needed. You may want to have information handy such as cost and contact person. 

Schedule regular visits to your parents, and regular phone calls. Keep your parents’ information readily available in case you need to provide it to care-takers, such as hospital, medical specialists, home care agencies, etc.  Have a copy of their Medicare card, supplementary insurance card, list of medication they taking, the names and phone numbers of the doctors that see to their medical needs, phone number of a car service, to be able to arrange a ride for them when needed. If such preparatory plan is put in place ahead of time, it will help you direct care for your parents from a distance. For more info-  www.goldenyearsgolden.com