Boomers, help your fellow baby boomer by answering his/her question through submitting an answer in the comment box below…

I think it was in Newsweek, but it could have been one of the other news magazines. And I think it was on the last page of the magazine. I’ve looked for it online (recently) and in real life (years ago) and have never been able to find it. Can anyone point me to the right article?

Boomers, help your fellow baby boomer by answering his/her question through submitting an answer in the comment box below…

Boomers, help your fellow baby boomer by answering his/her question through submitting an answer in the comment box below…

But, today, from a comic strip, no less, I found something new.  The answer to the age-old question, “What is the purpose of life?” WOW!  From a comic strip comes an original thought on this philosophical conundrum that has no “right” answer.  At first, I just chuckled at it, thought, “How true.”  I went on to the next comic strip.  A moment later, some little voice in me said to read that strip again.

Hagar the Horrible is with a couple of his buds, standing in front of the “Professor,” who is standing on a pedestal, all grey-bearded and wise looking.  He’s saying he’s been all over the world, consulted with learned men, attended colleges and universities, discussed the purpose of life with theologians, scholars and other deep thinkers.

Hagar and his buds are all leaning forward, saying “Tell us, Professor!  What is the purpose of life?”  And the professor replies, “Every day, live it up a little.”

Could it BE that simple?  Could it be so personal?  Could it be that important?  I thought all those thoughts, and I started thinking back over my life.  No comic strip has EVER made me do that!  And, what I was lookin’ for was the times when I did “live it up a little.”

Many recollections came from my childhood.  I’d say we were “moderately poor,” but I never wanted for anything.  What I NEEDED, I had.  Not a lot else.  But, days when I lived it up a little were common. With a friend or two, alone, or with a group, there are recollections of feeling very good at those times.

Gets tougher to find, further forward I looked. Wife, two children, Air Force life, base to base, country to country.  Had a remote in Alaska. Spent almost 4 years in Izmir, Turkey, and a total of seven years, 3 in Seville, under Franco’s rule, then another 4 in Madrid, after Franco’s death when Spain was just beginning to flex its democratic wings.  Interesting times everywhere we were.

So, yeah, there are some “lived it up” memories from all those years and places and people. I’m so glad they’re still there, in their nice little compartment in my head where one keeps the long-term memories most special, sometimes for ill as well as good.

I’m gonna have to try this new “philosophy” out.  I’m not exactly sure what “living it up” means anymore. But, the memories I recall most vividly are ones when there was joy present.  A joy, almost indefinable as it encompasses so many different memories for different reasons.  But, the commonality seems to be an emotionally charged event.  The ones that generated recollections like, for example, a week on the white sands of the Aegean, never seeing another soul for the duration.  Just the two of us in our own secluded little tented and Coleman stoved Garden of Eden.  Yeah…that one sticks out a lot.

But, those days are gone and lately, the last few years, there have been very few instances of me “living it up.”  Somehow, I see the need to rectify that situation.  The issue, at this stage of our Baby Boomer lives, becomes one of what we do to live it up a little every day?

Actually, I see benefit simply from the effort to FIND a way to live it up a little every day.  That term needs to have a wide and flexible definition, and everyone’s would likely be greatly different.

Occurs to me that the “Little Victories” and the “Live it up a little” philosophies kinda go together.  At least, for me they do.  Either one seems worthy of pursuit, again…for ME!  I preach to no one, nor do I want to be preached to!

But, I’ll tell you this.  That “Little Victories” mind set I put myself into some 15 years ago has stood the test of time, and it’s been effective!  It has kept me optimistic, hopeful, enthused about life, willing to invest, desirous of change and challenge, and it’s kept me sane.  It’s given me strenth, it’s given me understanding, it’s taught me patience and to listen more than I talk.

All things considered, for 63 years of hangin’ around here, I’m not really where I imagined I’d be.  But, where I really am ain’t all that bad.  Least for now.  I’m as afraid of the future as anyone our ages. Mainly, I’m afraid of the “system.”  Long as I can fend for myself, I’m good.  When I can’t do that anymore, I’ll have some decisions to make.

But, those thoughts are for another time. “Live it up a little every day” is NOT a bad measurement of the “purpose of life.” It does, however, have a different meaning to each of us, so there’s billions of “right” answers.

From a frickin’ COMIC STRIP!!!

Be talkin’ to you……………………….Webrydr

Author of “Making the Golden Years Golden”

Over the last few years, my mother’s best friend has shown signs of dementia, first mild forgetfulness and then some increasingly worrisome signs of “something gone wrong.” She did not have close family to step in, so my mother and I were her support system. Neighbors began calling my mother, complaining that her friend was leaving the television on very loud for days and nights. She was walking out and leaving the door to her apartment open. She was found on occasion leaving her house inappropriately dressed, and she began calling my mother multiple times, repeating the same conversation as if there was a new issue. Being that she had been functioning quite well up until that time, and the change was acute and swift, we felt that action should be taken.

Finding the solution

We started with taking my mom’s friend to her personal physician for a full evaluation, in which her doctor referred her to a neurological evaluation. My mom and I met with the doctors, but were very disappointed. None came up with any physical justification for her signs of dementia. We went back to her personal doctor and were reviewing each of her health issues and the treatment she was receiving for them, when the doctor asked her when and how she was taking the prescribed medication. She could not clearly say, and did not even remember if she had taken her medication for that day. It was clear that she was not taking her medication properly, maybe taking too much at one time or not taking any at another time. For that reason, we put in place a system that provided her with safe and timely medication taking. We purchased a medication dispenser for weekly supply, marked by day and time. Compartments were clearly marked for day of the week, as well as morning, noon, evening, etc. If a dose was not taken, it would buzz to remind the person to take it. In my book Making the Golden Years Golden I have a few suggestions as to different options for medication dispensers.  For more info – www.goldenyearsgolden.com

The “NEW” American Dream is to:

• NOT have your house foreclosed or to NOT have the Sheriff on your doorstep, eviction notice in hand.
• NOT have your job outsourced to Podunktut, India.  And, to NOT have to train your replacement by video link as you sit with the want ads on your desk.  And, to NOT have that Indian replacement possess a third grade vocabulary of English with an accent even a mother couldn’t understand.
• NOT have your car repossessed at 4 AM, with the alarm  waking your neighbors to announce your new carless status.
• Make it from one payday to the next and NOT have to use credit cards (if you’re lucky enough to have one) or savings (if you’re lucky enough to have any) to meet the mortgage or rent, make the car payment, keep the utilities connected, pay the phone bill.
• Remain healthy enough to NOT need medication that costs $1700 a month, and is NOT covered by your Health Plan…assuming you’re lucky enough to HAVE a health plan.
• NOT be disabled and in need of assistance from the government.  If you are disabled, the Dream is to NOT have your disability claim rejected out of hand, which happens fully two-thirds of the time for Social Security and Disability applications.
• If you are disabled and drawing benefits, the Dream is for it NOT to stop because some worker at some desk in some office in some city far, far away ticked the wrong check box and your payments are stopped arbitrarily, without notice and NOT one word of explanation as to why.
• NOT have to park your SUV because you can’t buy gas, and to NOT have to ride your kid’s bicycle to work.
• To have your children vaccinated and NOT be struck with Autism Spectrum Disorder the next week.
• NOT need social services, because they’re NOT there anymore.  If you are fortunate enough to actually be receiving services, the Dream is for those services NOT to stop because the budget requires a cut, the agency decides you do NOT qualify anymore and they give you a phone number to call for help that is NOT answered…NOT ever.
• NOT be trapped in a dead end, go nowhere job for year after year.  Can’t NOT work, can’t quit, can’t get promoted, can’t get a raise.  Can’t talk to the boss, twenty years younger (or older) than you and you do NOT speak the same language, and you are NOT able to avoid the conflicts that causes.
• Have your children make it home NOT having been molested, shot at, threatened, raped, beat up or robbed on their way home from grammar school.
• NOT be arrested due to profiling.  The Dream is to NOT be noticed and to NOT match any names on the “No-Fly” list.
• NOT have to fly in a commercial aircraft in the first place.  To NOT have to pay for the oxygen mask that will drop when the aircraft runs out of fuel because the company does NOT fill the tanks, in order to save money they do NOT have because they just filed bankruptcy.
• NOT flunk out of school, to NOT have student aid stopped, to NOT have your laptop stolen.  The Dream is also NOT to die of alcohol poisoning from ingesting as much booze in as short a time as is humanly possible.
• NOT have your personal data phished, pharmed or otherwise compromised.  The Dream is to NOT have your bank account cleaned out, to NOT have your savings disappear and to NOT have your credit score tank because of identity theft.
• NOT fail.  The Dream is NOT to succeed, it’s to NOT fail.  Big difference.
• NOT be carjacked, assaulted, murdered, beaten, raped or robbed. To NOT be in the invaded home, to NOT be taken hostage by a mentally deranged, just fired, extremely unstable man (or woman) with several guns and a LOT of ammunition and even more anger, who does NOT care about living or dying.
• NOT be shot at work by a disgruntled employee with a grudge.
• Have your teenagers NOT die while they’re teenagers.  Although invulnerable and immortal, the young DO die, through violence, accident and even intentionally.  The Dream is to have sufficient contact and communication so you have at least a peripheral awareness of the trials of growing up in this new and terrifying world.
• NOT come down with Alzheimer’s Disease.  The Dream is to NOT be relegated to a long term health care facility, to NOT fall and break a hip, to NOT develop diabetes, dementia or any debilitating disease that will rob you of your faculties, your job, your home, your savings and your children’s inheritance.
• NOT see your parents decline into abject poverty because the social programs have deteriorated, do NOT provide for even the necessities of life and do NOT have a chance in hell of getting any better.
• NOT die because you opened a letter bomb or slit open an envelope with spores of destruction in it.
• NOT have cancer. Period.
• NOT be on the radar.  NOT the Justice Department, NOT the IRS, NOT the Immigration and Naturalization Service, NOT the Department of Homeland Security, NOT the DEA, CIA, FBI, DIA or the Secret Service.
• NOT be shot on the highway by an enraged motorist carrying automatic weapons in the back seat of his armored Hummer.
• NOT need.  Pure and simple, to NOT NEED!  If you DO need, that need will NOT be met, and future needs will NOT be met, either.
• NOT lose a family member, friend, spouse or neighbor to an unwinnable war in a faraway place, where Americans are NOT welcome, NOT wanted, are reviled, resented and truly hated.
• NOT be poor, miserable, disabled, sick, injured or unemployable.
• NOT be a victim. To NOT be stashed in a trunk, NOT thrown from the bridge, NOT buried in the woods, NOT tied to a tree, NOT shot and left to die and NOT stabbed 28 times.
• NOT be a “person of interest.”  NOT for anything, NOT ever.
• NOT be old, NOT be fat, NOT be unpopular, NOT be on the outside, looking in.
• NOT have a Dream.  Because dreams are artificial, false, hopeful and NOT attainable.  NOT in today’s society, NOT in today’s economic climate, NOT with today’s politics, NOT with today’s policies.

The new American Dream is unattainable, unless you have a lot of money, live in a gated and patrolled community, can afford state of the art security and have a room full of weapons (in your concrete and steel “safe room) to protect yourself from the people who do NOT have a lot of money, do NOT live in a gated and patrolled community, have NO security but DO have a room full of weapons at home.

Be talkin’ to you……………………………..Webrydr

    As we age and more health conditions afflict us, there are more specialists that we see and more documents that represent our medical history unfortunately, in most cases, all this documentation is dispersed among many doctors. If you have had any hospitalizations or emergency room visits, your records are in the hospital. If you have a condition that requires the care of a specialist, he or she will have your records. If you require multiple specialists, each one will have records related to the treatment they provide.

    In the best of cases, the doctors are in communication with each other, and each is aware of how the others are handling your case, especially concerning the medication they individually prescribe for you, so that there is no contraindication. However with all the medical care that the average patient receives, through specialists, and sub-specialists, there is much room for errors, misdiagnoses, and possible unnecessary treatments. This leaves the responsibility up to you to gather all your medical records, be educated about your illnesses, and read up on the medications you are taking, including their side effects. It is after all, your life that is in those records.

    You should ask your doctors for copies of all reports and tests, and copies of letters the doctors send to one another pertaining to you. To the doctor, as much as he or she may like you personally, you are one of many and it is hard for the doctor to keep track of every detail. That is where the records come in. Your doctor has a set, and you should have one too.

    Today most records can be kept in electronic form, but systems are different, so most doctors keep a paper file of their patient’s records. The best way to keep your records is in chronological order, with the most current documents on top; but there are other methods which you may want to check out at www.myphr.com . Among your medical records should also be a printout from your pharmacy of a current list of all medications that you are taking.

   You should also keep a list of all the doctors that you are using for your health care. Write a short description of each doctor’s specialty, making it clear to someone else if they read the file. Also list each doctor’s name and telephone number, so it is available in an emergency. 

    It is also advisable to have a personal file which will include your personal data, such as name, address, phone number, Social Security number, and insurance company name and identification number. Include in this file any allergies that you may have. You may want to include a copy of your Health Proxy or Living Will, or any instructions you have to your doctors.  Let a family member or a friend know where you keep the medical file in case it is needed and you are not in a condition to direct them to it. For more information go to my site: www.goldenyearsgolden.com

Other posts will teach you to pronounce “semi-arcane” spirits such as Patxaran (PAH-cher-ahn), Korean and Filipino dishes, Italian wines, French cheeses and exotic cookware.

How utterly Boomerlicious!

My father suffered from Parkinson’s disease for 14 years, the last six of which he was fully impaired by the illness. As a survivor of the Holocaust, he avoided dealing with issues involving death, so he never wrote out a will or instructed us regarding his last wishes. There would always be time for that later, he thought.

When “later” came, my mother said that my father did not want heroic measures to be implemented to unnecessarily prolong his life. I was never privy to these conversations. None of his wishes regarding the care he may require at the end stages of his life were in writing.

A month before my father died, he came down with a very severe cold. It developed quickly from an upper respiratory infection to pneumonia, and we had no choice but to hospitalize him. His condition became critical and he was transferred to an intensive care unit. My whole family stayed by his side 24/7.  After much argument among members of my family, he was put on a respirator; he was still conscious at that time, could communicate in writing, and was included in decision-making regarding the respirator. 

My siblings, mother, and I put everything on hold to stay near my father. It was clear that my father drew a great deal of support from his children and his wife being by his side. Two weeks into his stay in the ICU, my father suffered a massive heart attack. He lost consciousness and never regained it.  The doctors kept performing all kinds of neurological tests, as per our demands. But more grim news kept coming back: no brain activities could be detected, and their recommendation was to remove my father from life support equipment.

His organs were failing one by one, and though we knew that the only thing keeping him alive were the machines, I could not give my consent to pull the plug. My father never specifically told me what he wanted me to do for him if such a situation presented itself. We all agonized, debating among ourselves and struggling with the decision, with the doctors pressing us to commit to a course of action. To our eventual relief, the decision-making process was taken out of our hands three days later, when God mercifully took him. 

Helping and Guiding Your Loved Ones in Making Health Decisions for You

If there is a lesson in my personal story, it is this: Do not procrastinate. Write down your wishes. Designate a person or persons whom you want to make those decisions when you are unable to do so yourself. It makes it easier for your own peace of mind as well as for the people who love you, allowing them to follow your requests, rather than stumble through their own guesswork.

The following are two legal instruments that you can put into place that can reflect your wishes as to the care you should or should not receive at the time that you are unable to express it.

Health Care Proxy or Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care:

In either document, you can name someone to make medical decisions for you, should you be unable to make those decisions yourself. The person you appoint may be referred to as “health care agent,” “medical power of attorney,” “surrogate,” or “attorney-in-fact.” The designated person must understand that she or he will need to avail themselves to the medical care providers when any medical decisions are to be made. You do not want to choose a representative that lives in another state from you, or one that is physically unable to be available to your medical team in a time of need.

You can be the final judge as to what should or shouldn’t be done to you. These important documents can include mechanical intervention in cases of respiratory failure, or dialysis due to kidney failure, and if hydration and gastric feeding tubes should be inserted. You can decide how much or how little medical intervention you want at the last stages of your life. With the Health Proxy or Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care, you empower a person you trust to carry out your wishes. These documents are much like a will but they deal with medical issues rather than with financial ones.

Leaving your health care decisions to others without any guidance from you places a great burden on your loved ones during a very traumatic time. If there is more than one opinion regarding your care from several loved ones, there is an unnecessary strain among them that is preventable.  Worse yet, if there is no health proxy and no next of kin, a judge may appoint someone who you are not familiar with to make medical decisions for you. That person may not know what your values, beliefs, or preferences are.

There are standard forms, at no cost to you, that are available at any hospital, nursing home, and the offices of any state agency that deals with health issues. You need two witnesses to attest to your signing. Some doctors as well as hospitals will refuse to follow verbal instructions unless a written Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care or a Health Proxy is in place.

www.goldenyearsgolden.com