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Finding Love in Your Sixties, by Sarah Wei

Sun, Jul 8, 2012

Healthcare, Home, Leisure, Lifestyle, Money

Everyone needs love and companionship. It doesn’t matter whether you are a baby or a senior. It’s just a natural need. That said, there are challenges and big benefits in getting someone to grow old with. Let’s take a look at these and also consider how to find true love in your sixties…

The Challenges in finding love
1. The biggest challenge you may have to deal with might be yourself. It’s difficult to be in your sixties and single without having a painful relationship story or stories of some sort. Your current situation might be due to the loss of a spouse, a divorce or that you were never married for one reason or the other.

So what’s the challenge here? The challenge is getting over whatever it was that made you single. Some women, especially, feel guilty loving another man after the death of their beloved. But there’s really nothing that should make you feel this way. Your vow was “till death do us part”. If your spouse truly loved you, then he would really have wanted you to be happy again.

The hurt of a divorce might have colored your view of every man or woman out there. Some people develop a fear of getting into a serious relationship. Always bear in mind that there are always good people out there.

And sometimes it’s just a matter of getting over yourself. Spread your wings, open up your horizions, climb out of your insular box that you’ve been living and go for it! What do you have to lose?! By 60 we’re pretty set in our ways so if you can try to think a bit differently, let your guard down, open your heart to possibilities and just try then you never know what… or who could be around the corner!

2. Another challenge you’d have to deal with is what your friends and family may think about it. Some may think looking for love yet again could mean you are not true to your former spouse (especially in the case of widows). Don’t be afraid to tell those who really matter to you why it is important for you to find love again. Remember, it’s you that feels the loneliness. It’s you that needs the companionship.

Bear in mind that whatever you do or don’t do, people will always talk!

3. How do you find a person that won’t destabilize all the good things in your life? Even though you want love, you also want to maintain your legacies. There are still other things that matter to you in life. This is yet another challenge you’d have to deal with. But take heart, it’s nothing you can’t surmount.

The Benefits in finding love
Don’t ever let the challenges hold you back. There are huge benefits in having someone to grow old with…

1. You enjoy loving companionship all over again. Yes, you don’t wake up to an empty house. You have someone to share all your joys and pains with. This is the highest level of human relationships. You just can’t beat the joy of having true love in your life.

2. You light up the spark again. It’s a new beginning. For those who lost a companion to death or divorce, this marks the final closing of that painful chapter. Yes, you will never forget someone with whom you spent a good part of your life but you can help yourself heal the pain that came out of the separation.

3. A good partner adds value to your life. They help you become a better person. It could be that they are better organized, have a better outlook to life, help you make smarter decisions, the list goes on.

How To Find True Love In Your Sixties
It is one thing to get a partner and it’s an entirely different thing to find true love. So here are ways to find true love (not just a partner)…

1. Look around. Many people have developed a blind spot to those who really love them the most. A man or woman has been there for you all through the years to the point that you almost take it for granted. Who loves you better than someone who has cared for you and has shown interest in your affairs for so many years?

In fact, you may hear some people say, “He’s just like a brother/sister to me.” If such a person is available you have true love staring you in the face without even realizing it.

Start by giving hints you want more than a brother/sister relationship. It could be a special gift that shows the person you want something more intimate. But as with everything relationship, don’t give a rude shock. Yes, they may be shocked when you first mention it but make sure you gave them enough hints this was coming. You are NOT a kid in any way so you should be able to talk this through.

2. Look at past and present colleagues with whom you had a great time. Does anyone stand out specially? Are they available? Some seniors have found love with their former secretaries and bosses. Yes, I know this could stir a question: “How long had this been going on?” Well, if you know you were always faithful, you shouldn’t really let people’s talk disturb you.

The point here is that you need someone who knows you well enough (and you know well enough too). You really don’t want to enter a relationship that will ruin things that took you a lifetime to build.

3. Join volunteer groups. It’s best to find love in places where they do NOT know you are obviously seeking for love. People can put up a performance when they know you are searching for a partner. Be yourself and let them be themselves. It’s easier to determine a person’s values and character when they don’t have a clue you might be interested. Just don’t give yourself away.

If you see someone who interests you, get to know them better. Find out things about their family and acquaintances. You can learn a lot about a person by just looking at their immediate circle. Be careful about bringing a stranger into your life.

Finally…

Be mindful of the following while looking for love once again: Your former partner is gone forever and you are not looking for his/her replacement. You won’t find one. You are looking for new but true love.

Don’t draw up comparisons with your former spouse. Just look at this new person’s core values and make sure you share the same. Once you find someone like that whom you love, you can take things to great heights. Who says you can’t find true love in your sixties?

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