What I Learned Caring for My Aging Parents—And How I Hope it Helps You 
By Christopher Ciano, Head of Aetna Medicare

This content was provided by a guest contributor.

Caregiving is a topic that comes up often in my world—and it’s not just because I’m the Head of Medicare at Aetna. For the past several years, I’ve also been the primary caregiver for both of my 91-year-old parents.

Seeing the health care system through my parents’ eyes has been both frustrating and overwhelming. It’s also given me perspective and a renewed drive to change the way the health care industry supports aging Americans.

I’ve learned some valuable lessons along the way, including:

Communication is key: Even for someone like me who has deep professional experience in health care, the ability to clearly communicate with doctors to stay informed, and then turn around and have conversations with your loved ones about complex medical issues is challenging. But clear dialogue among all parties is key.

Fortunately, I was able to overcome this challenge with my parents through a few adjustments, including:

  • Finding a common language that broke down medical jargon and used examples that my parents, their doctors and I could all relate to and understand—as well as making sure we were all on the same page with weekly recap conversations.
  • Using my parents’ Primary Care Physicians (PCPs) as a communication vehicle. While frustrating at times, emotions can get in the way. I’ve corresponded directly with my parents’ PCPs and asked them to “emphasize X” or to “be stern on X.” Sometimes, the message resonated better coming from the professional.

Staying organized can save you: Think about how much medical information you have to keep track of for yourself. Now double that when caring for a loved one. To help with this, I created a binder with my parents’ basic health information—including lists of their doctors, medications, medical histories, health directives, living wills and copies of their insurance cards. I can’t tell you how many times it’s proved itself useful in both emergency and nonemergency situations.

The right plan makes all the difference: Aetna’s inaugural Health Ambitions Study found that 75% of those aged 65 and older consider personalized care very important when it comes to their health. Support from plans like a Medicare Advantage plan, which emphasizes coordinated and holistic care, can be invaluable in both providing this type of care and allowing consumers to take advantage of additional benefits like dental, vision and hearing services. These types of plans also often offer resources directly within your local community. For example, Aetna’s Resources For Living® service can connect members with community-based support groups to help with everything from transportation to and from doctors’ offices and meal delivery to guidance navigating financial issues and depression. 

All of that said, as much as you communicate, stay organized, and take advantage of the right plan—when it comes to health, there is no predicting what might happen next. The most important thing you can do is try your best to be flexible and sensitive to the fact that it’s not only you involved—and that everything happening is impacting your loved one in an equal, if not more impactful, way.




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