The media coverage regarding the signs of stress during the past year of COVID has been extensive, and our feelings as parents, grandparents and caretakers are easily transmitted to our little ones. They hear so much more than we realize; they pick up on moods, depression, anxiety and more.

How do the children in our lives tell us they are stressed?

They do not have the skills to tell us if they are upset nor why. You will see signs of stress in children by their behavior. Acting out, excessive crying, sleeping difficulties, aggression, and developmental regression (your toddler used to be potty trained; then starts having accidents) are all ways they are showing stress. Try not to get angry; it’s when they need more support.

So how can we help them?

1. Do a Self-Check: When you see this happening, first, determine how you are feeling. If you are overwhelmed and you know you are on edge, impatient, feeling downright awful, it’s time to check-in with yourself. Have you reached the point that some medical or psychological intervention would help you? Get that help. It’s no different than the little yellow cup that drops down when you are flying on an airplane. You must give yourself the oxygen first! Then you can help others.
2. Next Talk (and Listen) to the Kiddos: If life has just got you down, then your child or grandchild will feel that emotion and they possibly feel the same as you. Those little (and larger) ears hear so much more than we realize, and it is not just your words.  They sense your mood and your feelings. Talk simply but openly about that it’s been a hard day. Use those words like happy, sad, mad… I miss seeing Grandma, then turn and ask them to talk about how they feel. Happy? Sad? Mad? This will help your small child begin to understand the name that goes with their feelings, so that they will learn how to express them. This is a great time to start teaching them how to identify their own feelings of sad, mad, angry; smiley charts can help, and you can make your own. They certainly have learned how to read our faces and recognize our moods!
3. Take Action and Make it Fun: Just like us, exercise releases those “feel good” hormones (endorphins) and it is an important part of the day to relieve stress and to simply feel better. Stress relievers for young children are running, walking, jumping, yelling for fun, singing, listening to music, pounding, and getting their energy directed in constructive ways. These activities also facilitate healthy sleep patterns. Rainy days? Take a moment, pause, and sit with your child and read a book, or if you are blessed with a set of stairs – up and down can be great. Also play out feelings with dolls, drawing, singing. Getting that energy displayed in a constructive way can be so helpful.

A great resource for emotional and physical issues related to your children’s well-being is the website of most of our U.S. pediatricians, The American Academy of Pediatrics. HealthyChildren.org  –  which is also available in Spanish, will provide many ways to deal with your children during this difficult and stressful time.

Sherri L. Rose is a retired pediatric and family nurse practitioner, manager of Sherri L Rose, LLC, and author/songwriter of The Teensy Weensy Virus, Book & Song for Preschoolers.