As a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with expertise in various areas of mental health, I have witnessed the profound impact that economic challenges can have on individuals, couples, and families across the lifespan. These challenges often present as stress, anxiety, and depression.

Purchasing a home has long been considered a cornerstone of the American Dream, representing stability, investment, and a sense of belonging. However, in the face of soaring housing prices and stagnant wages, many couples and families find themselves living in a nightmare, unable to attain this cherished dream.

This crisis has particularly struck the millennial generation, who graduated college during the Great Recession and have never entirely caught up. More importantly, while Baby Boomers are decidedly aging at home, it's not because they necessarily want to but because it's cheaper to modify their home as they age versus buying a smaller home. Additionally, Baby Boomers still have mortgage debt compared to people of their age group in 1980.

The all-time low of the housing market inventory is impacting many Americans as they navigate homeownership — or lack thereof. The inability to afford a home reaches far beyond finances, permeating the emotional fabric of individuals and families, and instilling feelings of insecurity, uncertainty, and disappointment.

Financial stress and anxiety

In our society, housing is a fundamental need — a place to call home, a sanctuary of safety and security. However, the inability to afford a home places individuals, couples, and families under immense financial stress and can trigger overwhelming anxiety and at times, depression.

A stark disparity emerges when we consider the current housing market and today's wages. The soaring housing prices far outpace income growth, making homeownership an elusive dream for many, especially for those being counseled out since they're above the retirement age but need to continue working for their livelihood. This discrepancy leaves individuals constantly grappling with the challenge of finding affordable housing, with the fear of being priced out of the market lurking in the background.

Moreover, the mounting burden of housing costs often forces individuals and families to make difficult choices and sacrifices. Basic needs may be compromised as resources are redirected to housing expenses, leaving individuals with limited financial flexibility, which, in turn, perpetuates a cycle of stress and anxiety as the fear of not being able to afford other essential expenses looms large.

The psychological impact of financial stress extends beyond the individual. Couples and families experience the ripple effects of this strain as it seeps into their relationships and interactions, where the stress of being able to afford a house can erode open communication, intensify conflicts, and strain the bonds that hold families together.

This is why there's a new trend among Baby Boomers called "The Gray Divorce." While there are many reasons why divorce of people over 50 has doubled since 2014, stress is the number one factor.

Disappointment and loss

For many, owning a home represents more than just a financial investment — it symbolizes a place where memories are made, roots are firmly planted, and a sense of identity and pride can flourish. Not achieving this milestone can feel like a significant loss, a deviation from the envisioned path of one's life.

This sense of loss can be particularly challenging for those who have witnessed their parents or previous generations achieve homeownership with relative ease. Comparisons to others who seemingly effortlessly entered the housing market can intensify disappointment, creating a perceived gap between personal achievements and societal expectations.

What's important here is to create a safe space where everyone can express their feelings without judgment, where couples can openly communicate their shared grief, and where families can collectively navigate the emotional impact of this unfulfilled dream.

Reduced sense of security and stability

When individuals cannot attain homeownership, they often experience a sense of instability and a lack of control over their living situation. Renting or facing the uncertainty of unstable housing arrangements can be disorienting, leaving individuals feeling uprooted and disconnected from a sense of place. This constant flux can erode the foundation of security and stability that a permanent home provides.

Addressing the reduced sense of security and stability that stems from the inability to afford a home requires a multifaceted approach. It involves creating support networks within the community and through professional resources that can guide and assist in navigating the challenges of unstable housing situations. Additionally, fostering resilience and coping mechanisms to manage the emotional toll of housing insecurity can be instrumental in maintaining overall well-being.

Recognizing the emotional toll of housing unaffordability is crucial, regardless of age. Individuals, couples, and families must understand that these challenges are not theirs alone. Seeking assistance from a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist can help provide a valuable outlet for navigating the complex emotions associated with this crisis.

At the same time, it is essential for communities and society to recognize the psychological toll of housing unaffordability. Advocating for systemic change, affordable housing initiatives, and financial support programs can alleviate some of the burdens individuals and families face.

By addressing the root causes of the housing crisis, we can work towards creating a more inclusive and accessible housing landscape that promotes health, mental health, and overall well-being.

About the Author

Darren D. Moore, Ph.D., MAED, LMFT, is a Father, Husband, Clinical Professor, and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. He owns I AM MOORE, LLC (www.iammoorellc.com), a counseling and consulting practice in Georgia, providing therapy services in multiple states and consulting across the United States. Dr. Moore's expertise spans fatherhood, mental health, couple and family relationships, workplace relationships, and obesity, and he holds advanced degrees in Human Development, Marriage and Family Therapy, and Higher Education.