As Baby Boomers age into our future, we would benefit from acknowledging reality...the reality of the possibility, perhaps the probability, of disability and/or dementia; the reality of the inevitability of our death. While this is difficult subject matter, it is also crucial that we both acknowledge the realities and put the time and energy into preparing for them. As difficult as it is to contemplate this future, it will be even more difficult to live in that future unprepared.

We also have the opportunity to spend the time and energy to answer the profound question, “What do I want to do with the rest of my life?” Regardless of our hope horizon, the amount of time we have remaining, we can act to make the most of that time.

But how should we proceed to prepare? We can take these four steps, each one delineated in my most recent book—Essential Baby Boomer Conversations: Preparing for Disability, Dementia, Death, and LIFE.

Step 1: Begin and continue to have the Essential Conversations

To get started, we need to ask ourselves the question, “Who should we be talking to, about what, and when?" As but a few examples…do we have financial and estate plans in place, and are our children aware of what those are? Do we know how we would address caretaking if we become disabled or find that we are living with dementia? Are we taking the necessary steps to prevent or postpone disability and dementia or to enhance our longevity, both the quantity and quality of our years? Do our loved ones and our medical team know what our end-of-life wishes are? The good news is that once we begin the essential conversations, it becomes easier to continue.

Step 2: Create specific written Plans

One of the objectives of essential conversations is to collaborate with loved ones and others to develop specific plans on how we want to move forward in our lives. For example, what steps are we taking to minimize the risk of disability? An even more specific example, what are we doing to prevent falls, a common cause of disability and even death as we age?

Other planning examples…what is our specific plan to age-proof our home and/or to decide when will be the right time to move to another living situation, even, perhaps, assisted living? What is our specific plan to keep our mind active to stave off the possibility of dementia? What specific activities will we start, stop, or continue to enhance the quality of our lives we have worked so hard to deserve?

Two other concepts related to plans—1) write them down, and we’ll be more likely to do them; 2) review and renew them periodically to keep up with changes in our life circumstances.

Step 3: Tend to our Mindset

Mindset is another important aspect of preparing for the realities of our future. Our mindset, our attitude, influences how we respond to life’s challenges. If faced with adversity, do we “throw in the towel,” or do we persevere, learn, and move on? Are we resilient?

Many believe that our mindset is hardwired into our personalities, but it has been demonstrated time and again that we have the ability to improve our attitude. We can practice mindfulness. We can practice gratitude. Perhaps we can just decide to have a more positive attitude. In the context of Winnie the Pooh, are we a Tigger or an Eeyore?

Step 4: Practice

It might not be obvious to think about how we can practice our future. Here’s but one example. In most partner households, one of the partners is primarily responsible for some of the daily living tasks, while the other partner is responsible for others. One partner, for example, may tend to finances and laundry, while the other may handle grocery shopping and food preparation. What if one of the partners becomes disabled, is diagnosed with dementia, or dies? Will the other be able to pick up that partner’s responsibilities. The opportunity is to use time together when all is well to teach the other partner how to manage the household tasks and then have that partner practice them. When the real need comes, that partner will at least have had some experience to take on the responsibility.

About the Author

Alan Spector is in the oldest cohort of Baby Boomers, is a strategic planning consultant, is a speaker and coach helping people prepare for the non-financial aspects of retirement, is 78 and still plays baseball, and the author of 14 books, the most recent of which is Essential Baby Boomer Conversations: Preparing for Disability, Dementia, Death, and LIFE. (www.aaspector.com)