Dating After 40? Here's Our 101 Guide To Help You

When it comes to your love life, everyone has an opinion, and if you are single, it doesn't matter if you are 24 or 64. You can take some advice from your friends but here is a better idea: you can listen to the pros. We have tapped dating coaches, professional matchmakers, and relationship experts for their best advice on dating after 40.

There are many great options to choose from, but one thing we can all agree on is that there has never been a better time to find true love. It's always never too late to make use of those romantic ideas in your head. You can never go wrong with being comfortable with yourself and being all-out when expressing your love. No matter if you are getting back in the game after a divorce or breakup, you may have just not met the right person yet. You should let these words of wisdom inspire you to find your ideal mate.

Knowing what you want

We are not this talking about the kind of person you want to be with, but think about the type of relationship you want to be in. Dating after 40 could mean having children if that's something you want, or it can mean meeting a parent who is already raising children. Grandchildren could even be in the mix. Decide if this is the deal-breaker for you or something you are open to exploring. It’s fine to be non-negotiable. And there is some good news: chances you are more skilled at knowing what you want now versus ten years ago. Maybe the 30-year old version of you was attracted to a guy with ambition until you realized it meant you two never got to spend any quality time together.

Thanks to your experience, you have a better idea of how to meet your needs. And once you have considered what is more essential in your partner and a relationship, you should not settle for less, as said by clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly, PhD., author of Aging Joyfully. She tells us that most women think they are too old to find a great partner in their forties. But this couldn't be farther from the truth. Working for and embracing your worthiness will get you amazing benefits for yourself and your life as a whole. Dating with self-confidence and joy is the best way to date.

Don't be afraid of technology

You may be surprised by the number of couples who meet online these days if it's been a while since you were on the dating scene. And if you have the thought of meeting someone through a website, apps like Grindr, or on social media, be sure to be careful. As relationship counselor Sophia Reed, Ph.D., suggests, you may want to try joining dating sites that are more geared towards your age. Stick to the truth while creating a profile, but don’t overthink it and just have fun.

Don't rely on technology too much

We just told you to get on board for online dating. But once you get over the first fear of online dating, it could be easy to get rooted in it, and you may forget to date.

It could be fun and flirty to message back and forth, but if your goal is to date, you must go on a date. If your person of interest is way too interested in texting on messaging you instead of talking and connecting in person, you should probably disengage. Just because the times have changed doesn't mean that you have to waste time.

Embracing your baggage

You may be offered unsolicited dating advice no matter your age, but one thing your younger self may not have had to deal with is baggage. It would help if you thought about your previous relationships, even those that failed, as lessons and insights you could learn from, as relationship coach Rosalind Sedacca recommends.

You cannot make choices unless your perspective and priorities about your ideal relationship or partner have changed. Thinking about previous relationships you were in and figuring out what worked well and what didn’t will help you in your future relationships.

Staying positive

You may have a friend who cannot stop complaining about the series of the boring dates he or she have been on lately. Or maybe you’re feeling doubtful after another failed relationship. It’s hard, but you should try to replace that pessimism with positivity, as suggested by the experts.

It helps if you’re sure that the energy you’re putting into the relationship rewards you with happiness and not bitterness, as matchmaker Rori Sassoon points out. The main question here is how you’ll know if you are just not feeling it? The simple answer to this question is fake it until you make it. And show yourself some love by refreshing your look and surround yourself with upbeat friends. Stay away from the negative people.

Learning your love language

Might you have heard about The 5 Love languages? Created by a marriage counselor and Arthur Gary Chapman, Ph.D., the book's main theory is that every person communicates love in five ways, namely words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, quality time, or physical touch. Chapman says the key to any romantic partnership is speaking your partner's love language and understanding your own.

Getting a dating look

It’s best to wear whatever makes you feel comfortable and confident. If you are unsure where to start, you should probably go shopping with your best friend or ask them to check out your closet. You should feel like the most confident version of yourself in whatever you choose.

Hopefully some of these tips will help you get back out there with confidence!


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