Getting older is part of life, but we don’t have to limit ourselves to experiencing it within the confines of our own or others’ outdated biases or assumptions about aging. We can all learn a thing or two from “courageous agers” who think, feel, and live outside the box. Breaking free of self-limiting beliefs and social norms takes courage, audacity, imagination, and a dash of “oppositional-defiant irreverence.”

When it comes to personal identity, we tend to regard our chronological age as self-defining as our gender, race, and ethnicity. As we grow older, we do have a choice: See and treat ourselves and others in a way that is accepting, understanding, and appreciative regardless of how many times our birthdays have rounded the clock — or judge the older version of ourselves as a shell and shadow of our younger selves. 

Freeing ourselves from restrictive myths, misconceptions, fears, and stereotypes about getting older in a youth-worshiping culture takes enormous strength and courage. Giving ourselves permission to reimagine the future without joy-inhibiting beliefs and biases opens a whole new world of possibilities. Not only do we win more personal freedom, esteem, and value, we afford it to others. In addition, we change the collective mindset about getting older to a view that is more life-affirming. By being better able to come to terms with who and what we’ve become, we are more inclined to pay the good in our lives forward to future generations.

Visionary organizations like Oasis that “promote healthy aging through lifelong learning, active lifestyles, and volunteer engagement” provide people who are 50 and older with invaluable opportunities to break free from restrictive notions about aging and flourish with full and meaningful lives.

The time is now, and the benefits are clear. So where do we begin?

7 Steps to Thinking Outside the Aging Box

Through my workshops, classes, and research on aging, I’ve come up with the following steps for living outside the aging box. Threaded through each step are the virtues of courage, compassion, humility, and integrity.

1. Take honest inventory of your age biases: Honestly reflect about where you stand with regard to your age, including any biases that may be limiting you and/or how you see others. Do you allow yourself to dance, sing, play, create, explore, learn, love, share, and grow the way you did when you were younger? What would have to happen for you to begin tapping into this freedom once again and enjoying some of your best years ever?
2. Take charge of your life by being accountable and aspiring to make the most of each day, year and moment of your life: This means being self-motivating, responsible, educating, correcting, and appreciative.
3. Look beyond your biases: Open your mind and heart to a new way of seeing things. Humility, integrity, and honor help us all look beyond our subconscious biases. We begin to understand how these beliefs have limited us and affected how we see and treat others.
4. Consider new ways of seeing and doing things: You’re entering a new season of life with new possibilities. Allow yourself to let go of the “old normal.” Take time to consider different perspectives that might brighten your life.
5. Dare to imagine yourself soaring and enjoying life as never before: Our imagination allows us to take experimental steps into the future. Take a test drive by imagining your best possible future. By doing this, you can visualize how something might actually look and feel. This is one of the most effective ways to make an informed decision.
6. Begin to take action steps: As portrayed in the movie “Cocoon,” dare yourself to awaken to explore newfound possibilities, including joy, meaning, wisdom, love, trust, and faith. It may be daunting at first, but by summoning the courage to take action — and to repurpose your knowledge, skills, experience, talents, and passions — you’ll create newfound sources of meaning and relevance.
7. Cultivate a “thinking outside the box” mentality: The following affirmations will help you replace restrictive, self-limiting ones and cultivate a more ageless, life-affirming “think outside the box” mentality. Practice saying them to yourself and replacing the old joy-inhibiting messages!

• “I release all feelings of embarrassment, fear, and shame, as well as the need to apologize, explain, or defend myself when I’m asked, ‘How old are you?’”
• “I accept my older self with compassion, support, love, and understanding.”
• “I greet others who are my age and older with acceptance, compassion, support, love, and understanding.”
• “I summon the courage to move forward and let go of old fears, hurts, regrets, expectations, and self-limiting ideas about my age that keep me from harvesting the joy, peace, love, and wonder of each new day.”
• “I do whatever is necessary to put my house in order, simplify, and unclutter my life, lighten my load, and leave a legacy of love by paying the good I have enjoyed in my life forward.”
• “I cultivate the emotional strength to make peace with life, let go when it’s time, and become a part of the greater mystery.”

The benefits of aging courageously and embracing these new possibilities are immeasurable. Cast aside your chronological age. Free yourself from self-limiting beliefs. Uncover new sources of joy and peace. Affirm your true value, worth, and wealth. Lead with courage, compassion, imagination and faith. And reimagine your best life outside the “getting old” box.

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About: Dr. Ken Druck is an international authority on healthy aging and author of two new books “Raising an Aging Parent” and "Courageous Aging". He has spent four decades helping people, families, organizations and communities grow into the more courageous, compassionate, and resilient version of themselves by transforming adversities and losses of every kind into opportunities. Learn more at www.KenDruck.com.