‘I’m not going to cry,’ I told myself as I sat in the doctor’s surgery awaiting my test results.  When she called me in I squared my shoulders and martialled all my reserves of composure.  She looked at me kindly. ‘I’m sorry, it’s not good news. You have breast cancer.’ I immediately burst into tears.  

Over the ensuing days, as the news sank in among a flurry of medical appointments and calls to  family and friends, my emotions fluctuated wildly between depression and optimism. One day as I was letting the tears flow, I had an epiphany.   ‘I should be writing all this down.’   What a revelation – that as a writer by profession, I would find solace in writing!   A year later I published my breast cancer memoir Making The Breast Of It.

Writing about a hardship you’ve been through – whether it be illness, the loss of someone close, financial ruin or the myriad other traumas that can befall us – can be beneficial in many ways. Here are the five most compelling reasons to consider writing your memoir.

1.You understand yourself better.

As Socrates said, ‘The unexamined life is not worth living.’ 

When you write about certain events in your life, particularly hardships, you become more aware of your strengths and weaknesses, how decisions you’ve made (or haven’t made) have affected you and lessons you’ve learned.

You should also weave in your thoughts and feelings, as this invokes an emotional response in the reader and makes your story more engaging and memorable.  

It’s often not until you put your thoughts and feelings down on paper, or on the screen, that you’re able to clarify what they are, examine them and determine why you feel and act in certain ways.

2. It’s therapeutic

This goes hand-in-hand with a deeper understanding of yourself.  We’ve all experienced suffering and there may be emotions – for example, anger, grief or sadness - you’re holding on to that you’re not even aware of until you start writing.

Getting them down on paper helps you to make sense of them and assists the healing process.
Even though my cancer was early stage and my prognosis was excellent, I couldn’t help thinking of the worst case scenario – death – and I found that writing about my fears in my memoir helped to diffuse them.

You may find that after writing your memoir you can forgive someone who’s wronged you, forgive yourself for mistakes, feel compassion towards an enemy or find acceptance in the face of unresolved issues.

3. You feel more connected to others.

Telling stories was one of our earliest forms of communication and we are hardwired to respond to them. 

Michelle Obama said, ‘When we share our stories, we are reminded of the humanity in each other.’

When someone reads your story, they can, as the saying goes, walk a mile in your shoes. They may not agree with all your actions or decisions, but they can empathize with you and will often find aspects of themselves mirrored in your story.

In fact, you’ll find there are more similarities between yourself and others than differences. For my memoir, I talked to other women who’d undergone treatment for breast cancer so I could include some different perspectives.  Although we’d all had very different diagnoses and experiences, we shared many similar thoughts, feelings and philosophies.

Sometimes you think you’re the only person to have thought or acted in a certain way in response to an event. When a reader says, ‘That’s exactly how I thought/acted,’ it’s very gratifying to realise you’re not alone.

4. You can help others.

This follows on from feeling more connected. By writing about your adversities and how you overcame them, you can encourage others who are going through similar difficulties. 

Even those who haven’t shared the exact same experiences will benefit.  Whatever traumas we go through, we all feel a similar range of emotions, from shock and anger to grief and sadness.  

When I published my memoir I had many readers, including men, who hadn’t experienced breast cancer tell me they were inspired and uplifted by reading it.   

5. You discover your creativity

Even if you’ve written nothing more complicated than a text message, you can write a memoir. Writing is like any other activity – the more you do it, the better you become. 

Start at any part of the story you like, to get into the flow of it.  You’ll soon develop a style and rhythm and you may be surprised at how much you’re enjoying it.

The most useful tip is to write the way you speak. That keeps it simple and clear and your authentic voice will shine through.  

Four years after publishing my memoir, it’s still one of the most creatively and personally satisfying things I’ve done.  

Robin Storey is a ghostwriter who specializes in life stories and memoirs. She also offers a mentoring service for those who want to write their own.  Contact her on her website Storey-Lines.