“You should write a book.”

Sound familiar?

Some of history’s most significant and memorable events – World War II and the Vietnam War, advances in technology and space exploration, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and the Civil Rights Act, Elvis and Beatlemania – happened during the Baby Boomer timeline. So it’s no wonder that Boomers who experienced it all have stories to share. Resurrecting the past, however, isn’t always easy. But take it from me, someone who’s been a storyteller her whole life, and has ghostwritten and co-authored other’s books, and who just published her fourth – COMMITTED: A Memoir of Madness in the Family (May 4, 2012, She Writes Press) -- it IS so very worth it.

Mental health and emotional wellness benefit when we take pen to paper. Every moment of our lives that’s responsible for having taken our breath away is worthy of recall: The good, the not-so-good, and, yes, even the ugly. Studies have shown just how beneficial it is to write about whatever came before that has made us who we are today. In my case, mental illness is woven into my history. Insanity took root in my family tree, and I was tasked with tending its garden. Two of my books – COMMITTED and its prequel THE S WORD (2015) – share my struggle to stay sane, despite being surrounded by the madness of serving as caregiver to my mother and sister, both diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.

When I started out writing my first book, I’ll admit that I did so with a great deal of trepidation and angst. I feared that digging deep into an often painful past might prove to be more than I could handle. It took me ten years-plus to process my childhood and finally get that story out of my head and heart and into a published book. Through that practice of writing, however, I was surprised at how much I healed. What began as a “tell-all” and a “justice-driven” project became a story of redemption, forgiveness, and hope. 

My mental state improved in ways I never would have anticipated. What I had experienced in my childhood and young adult years now had a greater purpose. I unearthed forgotten joys and triumphs along with the moments that tried me. Writing helped not only to heal me, but it framed the story of me in a new light. It gave my story of overcoming adversity meaning in a way that has helped countless others experiencing similar situations, surrounded by their own kind of madness, whatever that may be. 

Turns out that tapping into those memories and then tapping onto the typewriter keys or inking onto paper or speaking into a voice recorder all are proven ways to rid ourselves of things we may have been keeping bottled up inside…things that have been messing with our mental health and weighing us down with regret, rage, and sorrow. I liken it to “vomiting it out” – once you do, you feel so much better. And doing so allows the good times experienced that quite often are buried beneath the challenging ones to bubble up to the top, bringing a smile to your face and putting joy in your heart.

I’m first-generation Sicilian, and a saying I love is “Non tutto che affrontiamo può essere cambiato, ma tutto quello che vogliamo cambiare deve essere affrontato.” Translation?: Not everything we confront can we change, but everything we want to change has to be confronted. When writing to heal, it’s amazing to see how much of what we worry about revisiting – confronting those “demons of our past” – isn’t as devastating as we’ve built it up in our minds to be. This isn’t to say that a past event hasn’t been  traumatic for us; it may very well have been. But to never have addressed it, looked it in the eye with the time, distance, perspective, and wisdom of where we are today to say “you’re not the boss of me” is to give it more power than it deserves. Life happens. We can let our past influence our present and our future in a negative way or choose to use whatever happened in a positive learning lesson kind of way. This shift in perspective that happens when writing down our stories is powerful. And it often has us realizing just how resilient we have been and can continue to be. 

Everyone has a story to tell. Our stories matter. And taking the time to tell them can actually give us peace, bring us joy, and make it possible for us to share the lessons we’ve learned during our lifetime with others, giving who we are and what we’ve overcome greater meaning. Writing – even if no one else sees what you’ve written -- IS powerful mental health therapy.

About

Paolina Milana is a marketing, PR, and media professional with journalistic roots. She’s the author of several books with her latest COMMITTED: A Memoir of Madness in the Family (She Writes Press) that published this May in honor of Mental Health Awareness Month. An award-winning writer, Paolina uses storytelling techniques in her resilience and empowerment writing coaching to help people become the heroes of their own stories -- reimagining their circumstances, rewriting their next chapters, and stepping into their power.